DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE: FROM CONFLICT TO COOPERATION

SHORT NOTES FROM:

DEALING WITH PEOLE YOU CAN’T STAND

HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST

DR. RICK BRINKMAN AND DR. RICK KIRSCHNER

MCGRAW-HILL, INC

(226 PAGES)

PART 2

SURVIVING THROUGH SKILLFUL COMMUNICATION

 

FROM CONFLICT TO COOPERATION

Conflict occurs when the emphasis in a relationship is on the differences between people.  Success in communication depends on finding common ground before attempting to redirect the interaction towards a new outcome.  Reducing differences is essential to the success in dealing with people you can’t stand.

Blending is an essential communication skill.  Its automatic and natural when a common vision is shared, care about each other or want to deepen a relationship.  People felt closer when differences between them were reduced.  Blending really means friendship and caring.  We blend with people visually with our facial expression, degree of animation, and body posture.  We also blend verbally with our voice volume and speed, and also through conceptually with our words.

It is important to blend with everybody; the people we like, the people we share an objective with, and also the people whom we perceived as difficult.  Failure to blend will lead to conflict.  Remember that no one cooperates with anyone who seems to be against them.  Thus, it’s important to blend.

Strategies and redirecting skills for effective communication:

1. Blend non-verbally with body and facial expression

Blending or the lack of it can create an atmosphere of trust or distrust, cooperation or non-cooperation.  Most of the times, non-verbal blending happens automatically and it goes unnoticed, try to blend with a difficult person through body posture, facial expression and degree of animation.

2. Blend vocally with volume and speed

If you fail to blend with a person’s voice volume and speed, you will probably end up talking to yourself or dealing with serious misunderstanding.  People have to be aware of their communication differences.  The process rather than the content of the communication was causing the difficulty.