Listening is different from hearing. And it is an essential part
of communication. Being a good and
patient listener helps
·
Solve many problems
·
See the world through the eyes of others
·
Opening of understanding
·
Enhancing capacity for empathy
·
Learn a lot
One of the biggest obstacles to listening is to resist the
impulse thoughts. Stop talking and try
to be silent. Shelve your own opinion
temporarily and let the person talk the situation out. Do not interrupt with what you feel or
think. Abstain yourself from giving
direct advice.
Good listening is also an essential part of being a good
leader. A leader must be very aware of
the feedback received from people around them.
Poor listening habits are very common.
There is shallow listening and deep listening. Most of us know how to give the appearance of
listening where as we are not really listening.
We listened but we did m=not get the intended message.
There are three (3) basic listening modes, that is the
combative, attentive and reflective. There
are a few attributes of good listening such as
·
Concentration
·
Attention
·
Eye-contact
·
Receptive body language
·
Empathy (not sympathy)
·
Leave the channel open
Remember
We only hear what we
want to hear
And remember only part
of what we heard
Good listening is actually hard work where we actually have to
focus our attention on the words, ideas and feeling related to the
subject. People like to be around
someone who listens well. Listening requires
focus. It means paying attention and
being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Adults are found to spend an average of 70% of
their time engaging in some sort of communication. Out of this 70%:
45% is spent on listening
30 % on speaking
16% on reading
9% on writing
(Source from
Adler, et al. 2001)
We listen to obtain information, understand and learn. We also listen for enjoyment. We only remember between 25% - 50% of what we
hear. To be a better listener, you have
to practice ‘active listening’. To be an
active listener, you need to apply the five (5) key alements of active
listening:
·
Pay attention
·
Show that you are listening
·
Provide feedback
·
Defer judgment
·
Respond appropriately
You can make more
friends in 2 months
By becoming interested
in other people
Than you can in 2
years
By trying to get other
people interested in you
(Dale Canegie)
It is not easy trying to be a good listener because they need to
listen to what is being said and also to what is left unsaid or only partially
said. Listening requires concentration
and the use of other senses in addition to hearing spoken words. There are 10 principles of listening:
1.
Stop talking
2.
Prepare to listen
3.
Put the speaker at ease
4.
Remove distraction
5.
Empathise
6.
Be patient
7.
Avoid personal prejudice
8.
Listen to the tone
9.
Listen for idea (not just words)
10. Watch for
non-verbal communication
One of the most
sincere form of respect is
Actually listening to
what another has to say
(Bryant H. McGill)
Most people do not
listen with the intend to understand;
They listen with the
intend to reply
(Stephen R Covey)
The word ‘listen’ contains
the same letters as the word ‘silent’
(Alfred Brendel)
No comments:
Post a Comment