THE STORIES THAT BINDS US

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READERS DIGEST

October 2013

By Bruce Feiler

 

What are the ingredients that make some families resilient and happy?  Researches have recently revealed stunning insights into how to make families work more effectively.  The single most important thing is to develop a strong family narrative.

The more children know about their families’ history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successfully they relieved their families functioned.  Children who have the most self-confidence have a strong intergenerational self.  They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.

Jim Collins, a Colorado management expert said that successful human enterprises of any kind go out of their way to capture their core identity.  The same applies to families.  Most happy families also communicate effectively.  Communication also means telling a passive story about yourselves.  The skill of overcoming hardship is particularly important for children whose identity tend to solidify during adolescence.

If you want a happier family, create, refine, and retell the story of your family’s best moments and your relations ability to bounce back from the difficult ones.  The act alone may increase the odds that your family will flourish for many generations to come.