Shared form ;
Differences
can be just as rewarding
Sights
and Sound
By
Xandria Ooi.
Star
Metro 10 December 2014,
As human beings, it is natural for us to gravitate towards people who
are most similar, to us. When we start
making friends, we naturally are drawn to people with whom we have most in
common. We subconsciously or consciously
seek out people who have similar desires and ambition.
Knowing the fact that we’ve got best friends who are similar gives us a
certain measures of comfort and security knowing that there are people out
there who are just like us. The small
“me too” moments seem serendipitous. It
connects people with the ability to turn absolute stranger into instant soul
mates.
According to studies by Ellen Berscheid and Elaine H. Walster in the
book Interpersonal. Attraction,
people are generally most attracted to people who share similar attitudes. Some of the reason cited:
i.
They provide corroboration that we are not alone in
our beliefs or that we might even be correct to hold the attitude in question.
ii.
Instant bond existed when we realise that we would
have done the exact same thing.
iii.
Instant validation for our sense of self.
iv.
Constantly influence each other.
v.
Able to help people predict the other’s future
behaviours.
It is important to remember that people are in fact, extremely
different, even when we do have many things in common. Prediction can be coloured and influenced by
a million reasons. It is undeniable that
similarities can be more comfortable, but differences are so much more
interesting. The most rewarding thing
about focusing on differences is that it makes us love with much less
judgement.
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