DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLESpeak to Be Understood

SHORT NOTES FROM:

DEALING WITH PEOLE YOU CAN’T STAND

HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST

DR. RICK BRINKMAN AND DR. RICK KIRSCHNER

MCGRAW-HILL, INC

(226 PAGES)

PART 2

SURVIVING THROUGH SKILLFUL COMMUNICATION

 

Speak to Be Understood

            What we say to people can also produce positive effects.  The tone of voice used can send people either a positive or negative message.  Even when the words used are well chosen, if the tone of voice used is hurried, defensive, or hostile, people many imagine something very different from what is really intended.  The mixed messages can cause big problems is all relationships.  People are found often suppressing their emotions to avoid conflict.  So, acknowledge your tone and clarify what it is saying.

            ‘Intent’ is another equivalent important area code; we always assume someone will understand our positive intent.  But what really happen was the implied intent was almost always being misunderstood.  To prevent misunderstanding, learn to communicate your positive intent.  Speak your intent first to prevent many misunderstandings.

            Honesty can be effective no matter what difficult behavior a person engages in.  The more you trust, the more likely you’ll be heard.  Remember that whenever you speak to be understood, your communication will inevitably have an influence on the problem people.  Be careful.

 

When Communicating With Problem People

Speak To Be Understood

The Action Plan Is:

• Monitor your tone of voice
• State your positive intent
• Tactfully interrupt interruptions
• Tell the truth
• Be ready to listen