The journey towards recovery

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Self-help treatment is important to enable a person to employ an attitude of acceptance towards what is beyond their control, without allowing the pain to stop them from living the life to the fullest.  It will teach a person to sit with negative emotions without judgement, and move on with what that person value in life.

One of the key indicators of depression is guilt.  A person may feel guilty over many things, big or small, and they will keep justifying to themselves why they should led a happy live.  So, in trying to feel better, we unconsciously shift the focus of our pain.  While its good to consider the needs of others, it can be damaging if we do so at the expense of our own healing.

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We may believe that the safest thing to do is to tuck away our negative emotions and hopefully the problems will go away.  We are made to believe that negative emotions are the sign of weakness.  We often run ahead of the healing process when emotionally wounded. we refuse to rest our fractured heart in a sling.  So, when we are emotionally wounded, we should allow healing to take its own course.  It's okay to be out of control sometimes.  We have to learn to trust the healing process.  We' all have a different road to take.  There are of course many uncertainties in recovery, so no one can actually tell you when you will recover.

It's true that everyone has their own share of pain, but we can't compare it with other people's pain.  The phrase "I understand" told to people when they are hurting aren't always as empathetic as they sound, because the truth is you can never really understand how the other person is feeling.  Many people confuse empathy with sympathy.

Our lives come to a halt when there is pain.  Constant reminder that life must go on even if it's painful.  Don't forget to admire the bright sky, smell the flowers, and hear the birds sing.  Allow pain and life to co-exist.  The journey towards recovery is like climbing a mountain.  Some people never make it beyond a few steps because staying in the valley is familiar.  With every step climbing, your muscles ache. As you get nearer the peak, you battle the cold and the altitude.  With every breath you take, you may wonder if you'll ever make it.  Some may turn back when we are nearing the peak.

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When you feel tired and the peak is still nowhere in sight, always remember to take one step at a time; grab hold of that rope beside you and move on.  Take a rest if you have to.  When you slip, get up and move on.  Do not allow negative voices to distract you.  Cry, if you need to.  But don't stop moving forward.  There's a magnificent view waiting for you at the top.

Life has a way of throwing fiery darts at you.  Recovery is about hanging on to what we value in life.  When someone you love is is hurting, it's okay to admit that you don't have all the answers.  It's not wrong to acknowledge that you don't quite understand how it feels like.  All you've got to do is to walk with them through the journey without judging them.  You don't have to figure things out.

JASMINE CHUA

BEYOND BARRIERS: THE VIEW AT THE TOP

LIVING, STAR2, THURSDAY 19 DECEMBER 2013