One of the key indicators of depression is guilt. A person may feel guilty over many things, big or small, and they will keep justifying to themselves why they should led a happy live. So, in trying to feel better, we unconsciously shift the focus of our pain. While its good to consider the needs of others, it can be damaging if we do so at the expense of our own healing.
It's true that everyone has their own share of pain, but we can't compare it with other people's pain. The phrase "I understand" told to people when they are hurting aren't always as empathetic as they sound, because the truth is you can never really understand how the other person is feeling. Many people confuse empathy with sympathy.
Our lives come to a halt when there is pain. Constant reminder that life must go on even if it's painful. Don't forget to admire the bright sky, smell the flowers, and hear the birds sing. Allow pain and life to co-exist. The journey towards recovery is like climbing a mountain. Some people never make it beyond a few steps because staying in the valley is familiar. With every step climbing, your muscles ache. As you get nearer the peak, you battle the cold and the altitude. With every breath you take, you may wonder if you'll ever make it. Some may turn back when we are nearing the peak.
Life has a way of throwing fiery darts at you. Recovery is about hanging on to what we value in life. When someone you love is is hurting, it's okay to admit that you don't have all the answers. It's not wrong to acknowledge that you don't quite understand how it feels like. All you've got to do is to walk with them through the journey without judging them. You don't have to figure things out.
JASMINE CHUA
BEYOND BARRIERS: THE VIEW AT THE TOP
LIVING, STAR2, THURSDAY 19 DECEMBER 2013
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