THE 3 IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE

ALWAYS TAKE EXTRA CARE OF 3 THINGS IN LIFE:

PROMISE,

FRIENDSHIP, AND

RELATIONSHIP

BECAUSE THEY DON’T MAKE NOISE

BUT WHEN THEY BREAK THEY CREATE SILENCE

INTRODUCTION

The most precious things can easily become lost caused by outside circumstances.  Sometimes we cause ourselves to lose the things that mean the most to us.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PROMISE

A promise can go a long way in relationships.  Keeping promise builds trust. It also holds a lot of emotional value, so when a promise is broken, there is a decline of trust.

Promise is one of the vital part of building relationships.  When promises are followed through, it will serve to strengthen personal connections whether the connections are with families, friends or even to acquittances.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP

Studies have shown that friendship can help promote a long and happy life, thus playing an important role in mental health. Friendships are important in every life situation for most people.

THE IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIP

Human is a relational being and without interaction, human will tend to lose their meaning to live.  Relationships are what define humans.  It gives human the cause to live and to become who they are meant to be.

Relationship is the most crucial factor for happiness and tend to be our reason to live.  Relationships includes with family, and good friends.

Thus we need to nurture the relationship. We do sometimes need to invest in relationship.  There’s also the downside of nurturing when we permit fracture in that relationship even to the extent of letting it become sour which may lead to disregard, resentment, judgment and even blaming.

We need to realise that each of us can contribute differently towards fostering relationships.

REFERENCES

1. https://www.goalcast.com/most-important-things-in-life/

2. https://www.promisesbehavioralhealth.com/addiction-recovery-blog/importance-of-a-promise/

THE PRECIOUS PAST

THE PRECIOUS PAST

The more precious your past is,

The more it should remain in your memories

ALICE (2020), KOREAN DRAMA, NETFLIX

INTRODUCTION

Past is something that has occurred before the present.  Past can also be used to refer to a time before and until the present.  In short, past is simply the set of all events that occurred before a given point in time.  In time, the past will be memories

Memories are very essential in our lives as they allow us to grow and learn to be a better person.  The reflections can help us learn very important life lessons.  Memories make us who we are. It plays a vital role in every aspects of our lives.  Memories also provides us with a sense of self and makes up our continual experience of life.

Some  people find bad experiences stands out more than the good memories

THE IMPORTANCE OF HAPPY MEMORIES

1. Forms the cornerstone of our identity

2. Helps with combating depression and loneliness

3. Influence our current happiness

4. Providing a framework for our hopes and dreams

5. Increase happiness

6. Helps make positive choices

7. Can be used to transform our life

FAMOUS QUOTES

1. AT SOME PART OF LIFE OR THE OTHER, WE ALL BECOME MEMORIES FOR OTHERS.  SO MAKE SURE YOU BE A GOOD ONE

Graciousquates.com

2. …THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE HOLD ON TO MEMORIES SO TIGHTLY IS BECAUSE MEMORIES ARE THE ONLY THING THAT DON’T CHANGE WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE DOES

Quotesgram.com

3. MEMORY IS A RECORD OF YOR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.  IT IS A RECORD OF TRIAL AND ERROR, DEFEAT AND SUCCESS.  PAST FAILURES WILL WARN YOU AGAINST REPEATING THEM

Wilfred Peterson

Inspirationfeed.com

4. MEMORIES,

IMPORTANT YESTERDAYS,

WERE ONCE TODAYS,

TREASURE AND NOTICE TODAY

Gloria Gaither

Inspirationfeed.com

5. A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS A COLLECTION OF UNFORGETABLE MOMENTS

Living.com.org

SUMMARY

Memories are destined to fade.  It can’t last forever.  People who have happy memories tend to be happier overall.  Remembering happy things from the past can improve mood and increase happiness.

REFERENCES

1. merrian-webster.com

2. dictionary.cambridge.org

3. wikipedia.org

4. www.albertafilipinojournal

5. www.goodtherapy.org.blog

6. www.marieclaire.co.uk

7. www.verywellmind.com

8. https://monq.com/eo/nostalgia/remembering-happy-memories-make-happier/

BLINDSPOT IN LEADERSHIP

BLINDSPOT IN LEADERSHIP

INTRODUCTION

Blind spots is said to be the Achilles heel of leadership.  Blind spots are personal traits or aspects unknow to us that may limit our action, reaction, behaviour or believe, and therefore limit our effectiveness.  Blind spots are personal traits or aspects unknow to us that may limit our action, reaction, behaviour or believe, and therefore limit our effectiveness.

According to Robert Bruce Shaw, author of Leadership Blindspots, blind spots are unrecognized weaknesses or threats that can hinder a leader's success.  Leaders are blind to what they most need to improve.

As leaders ascend through the organization, it was found that self-awareness and emotional intelligence decline.  According to Travis Bradberry, the author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, middle managers stand out with the highest EQ scores with CEOs, on the average, having the lowest EQ scores.

THE SPOTTED BLINDSPOTS

1. Doing it alone/afraid to ask for help

2. Being insensitive of own behaviours on others

3. Having an ‘I know’ attitude

4. Avoiding conflicts

5. Blaming others or circumstances

6. Treating commitments casually

7. Conspiring against others

8. Withholding emotional commitment

9. Not taking a stand

10. Tolerating ‘good enough’

THE COMMON CAUSES

1. Pride bordering arrogance

i. Overconfidence

ii. Overly positive

iii. Power 

2. Frequent unseen weakness

i. Spending time on operations rather than strategic thinking

ii. Relying on own opinions

iii. Inability to balance the ‘what’ and ‘how’ of reaching a goal

iv. Relying on assumptions

v. Over-valuing how things are done in the past

3. Old school leadership mentality

SUMMARY

A leader who really knows their own strengths, weaknesses, and effect on others is more successful in their leadership role.

REFERENCES

1.    https://www.discprofiles.com/blog/2021/01/uncover-your-leadership-blind-spots

2.    https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2020/05/08/overcoming-leadership-blind-spots

3.  https://www.inc.com/marissa-levin/the-top-10-leadership-blind-spots-and-5-ways-to-turn-them-into-strengths

COACHING TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERS

SHORT NOTES FROM:

COACHING FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERS

BY COACH ABDUL AZIZ KASSIM

7 JUNE 2011

Coaching doesn't make sick people well, but makes ordinary people extra ordinary.  Coaching is the interaction that occurs between people which produces desired performance.  Coaching is thus performance focused but people centered.

Mentoring is the voluntary action between a willing experienced senior and willing grateful junior.  It is the process of sharing of tacit knowledge and experiences.

Those who don't know, teach or tell them;

Thos not able to do things, train them;

Those who want to perform and move forward; coach them

Coaches uses appreciative inquiry (questioning); active listening (only hearing); unbiased observation (look-see, look-see); constructive feedback (criticise and give comments); and support where appropriate.

Foe effective coaching, coaches need to shut up; listen; observe and get out of the way.  Thus the competencies needed are:

• emotional (relationship management)
• rational ( intellect, analysis, problem-solving)
• ethical (values, meaning, respect)
• able to relate to others
• have high EQ
•        know yourself
•        manage yourself
•        know others
•        manage relationship               

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK - PART 3

SHORT NOTES FROM:

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK

SUSAN FOWLER

Berrett-Koehler Publications, Inc., San Francisco

218 Pages

Leaders must understand how to motivate themselves before they can hope to guide others.  Teaching leaders about motivation is difficult because they believe their job is to motivate others not themselves.  Good things happen when you shift to or maintain an optimal motivational outlook.

Motivating people doesn't work because you cannot control someone else's internalisation process.  Motivational Outlook conversation can give a person a greater chance to explore their values.  These provides for growth and understanding.  Outlook Conversation is not to problem solve, impose your values, or expect a shift.  The purpose is to guide individuals to their own understanding of their motivational options and then shift.

OUTLOOK CONVERSATIONS' FRAMEWORK

1. PREPARE

2. TRUST THE PROCESS

3. REFLECT

4. CLOSE

5. SELF-REFLECT

Leadership is not a role; leadership is a practice.  Great leadership takes great practice.  When practicing leadership, you invest in the emotional labour which requires you to observe what the people are experiencing, how they are feeling and why.

Motivation is one of the most vital and emotional aspect of leadership and one of the most confused and misunderstood,  Thus making most leaders become blind to what does and doesn't work.

Leaders do not have access to someone else's internal state of motivation.  It is nearly impossible for a leader to understand others' internal state of motivation by observing their external behaviour.  Different people can internalise the same conditions differently.  Embrace the idea that all emotions are acceptable but not all behaviour is acceptable.  Acknowledge the crucial role that feelings play i work and life.

It might be helpful to consider the potential effect of each power has on people's emotional well-being, intentions and motivational outlooks:

1. Reward Power
2. Coercive Power
3. Referent Power
4. Legitimate Power
5. Export Power
6. Information Power

Power undermines people's psychological needs.  It's people's perception that you have it and could use it.  Your leadership values ultimately determine how you lead and the quality of the workplace you create.

Being a leader is a privileged position.  What you say, how you say it, and why you say it make a difference in the live of the people you lead.  Most leaders are stuck with systems that promote driving over thriving.  People already and are always motivated.  Thus, help people understand why they are motivated.

What do you want from your people

vs

What do you want for your people

COMMON MISTAKES AS LEADERS

1. Assuming that people are unmotivated if they are checking their text messenger or tweeting instead of paying attention
2. forcing someone to feel a sense of relatedness
3. imposing growth and learning on a person

The End

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK - PART 2

SHORT NOTE FROM:

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK

SUSAN FOWLER

Berrett Koehler Publishers, Inc., San Francisco

218 Pages

3. THE DANGER OF DRIVE

Be careful of being driven.  Nobody liked the idea of something or someone outside controlling them.  One of the most popular motivational theories is called Drive Theory which is based on the idea that we are motivational to get what we don't have.

People want to thrive when they experience autonomy, relatedness, and competence needs.  Individuals are more likely to have high-quality self-regulation in a reliable, safe and trusting work-setting.  Thus, leaders and organisations need to work harder at creating a work place where people doesn't have to work so hard to self-regulate.  People also need to learn how to self-regulate; need to learn how to drive instead of being driven.

3 TECHNIQUES PROMOTING HIGH-QUALITY SELF-REGULATION

1. MINDFULNESS

2. VALUES

3. PURPOSE

Mindfulness provides a view of reality without the filters, self-centered thought, and historical conditioning that tint your outlook.  People are always acting from their values and they are more likely to meet or exceed expectations when they purse goals within the context of a meaningful purpose.

The danger of drive is that it promotes external motivations which comes in tangible forms.  people ultimately resent leaders who create a pressurised workplace that undermines autonomy.  People regards managers who drive for results as self-serving.  Driving for results by adding pressure and tension blocks people's creativity and ability to focus.  When employees thrive, leaders don't need to drive.

cont.......Part 3

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK - PART 1

SHORT NOTES FROM:

WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN'T WORK

SUSAN FOWLER

Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., San Francisco

218 pages

1. STOP BEATING YOUR PEOPLE WITH CARROTS

Motivation that comes from choosing to do something is different from motivation that comes from having to do it.  One of the primary reasons motivating people doesn't work is the assumption that motivation is something a person has or doesn't have.  This leads to the erraneous conclusion that the more motivation a person has, the more likely they will achieve the goals and be successful.

Rewards and punishments can only buy temporary compliance.  Leaders need to question traditional beliefs and common practices.  We need leaders who want to cultivate a workplace where people flourish.  Great leaders must yearn for a practical yet honourable way to achieve and sustain results that brings out the best in and for people.

2. THE MOTIVATION DILEMMA

People are always motivated.  The question is not IF a person is motivated but WHY.  The dilemma is that leaders are being held accountable to motivate others.  Our well-being determines the intention, which ultimately lead to your behaviour.  A positive appraisal that results in a positive sense of well-being leads to positive intentions and behaviours that generate employee engagement.

The appraisal process is at the heart of employee engagement - and disengagement.  To improve the engagement scores, researches find what they call as employee work passion.  They found that individuals with employee work passion demonstrate these five positives intentions:

1. perform above standard expectations
2. uses discretionary effort on behalf of the organisation
3. endorses the organisation and it's leadership to others outside the organisation
4. uses altruistic citizenship behaviours towards all stakeholders
5. stay with the organisation

Leaders today need to help facilitate people's appraisal process so they are more likely to experience day-to-day optimal motivation.  Optimal motivation means having the positive energy vitality, end sense of well-being required to sustain the pursuit and achievement of meaningful goals while thriving and flourishing.

Motivation is a skill.  People can learn to choose and create optimal motivational experiences anytime and anywhere.

Motivating people does not work because they are already motivated.  The motivation dilemmas is that even tough motivating people doesn't work, leaders are held accountable for doing it.

Employees experience autonomy when they feel some control and choice about the work they do.  If people don't have a sense of empowerment, their sense of autonomy suffers and so do their productivity.

The role as a leader is helping people experience relatedness at work: caring about and feeling cared about, feeling connected without ulterior motives, and contributing to something greater than oneself.  This means a leader has to pay attention to how your people feel, gaining the skill to deal with their emotions, and also means getting personal.

cont.......Part 2