Boundaries

SHARED FROM:
Star2, Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Teens & Tweens by Charis Patrick
DRAWING THE LINES

Boundaries are one personal property lines.  They are how you define yourself; say who you are and who you are not, set limits and establish consequences if people attempt to control you.  Boundaries help to clarify what people are and are not responsible for in life.  When parents tell teens the truth, set limits, establish curfews, confront misbehaviour, and do a host of other things, they are providing a structure and help teens and tweens develop one.

Few examples of teens and tweens who lack boundaries:

1. Walking right into parents’ bedroom whenever without knocking.
2. Changing TV channels whenever without considering is anyone else is watching.
3. Blaming others for own mistakes whenever something does not go right.

Possible consequences due to lack of boundaries:

1. Can have controlling behaviour
2. Can be motivated by guilt or anger
3. More likely to be influenced by peers
4. Don’t own their own behaviour or consequences which can lead to life of turmoil
5. May allow others to think for them
6. May allow someone else to define the life
7. Pick up others’ feelings
8. May make it hard to tell where we end and another person begins

Few suggestions to help set boundaries:

1. Recognize and respect teens and tweens boundaries
2. Set own boundaries and have consequences for crossing them
3. Avoid controlling teens and tweens
4. Give two choices
5. Teach teens and tweens boundaries

Models for teens and tweens towards building healthy boundaries

1. Recognize own physical boundaries and personal space
2. Request for proper treatment such ask others to smoke away from your space
3. Share opinions.  Allow them to express opinions
4. Teach on how to decide on choices you make
5. Own up and take responsibility for when things go wrong
6. Accept your thoughts
7. Discover own limits; emotion and physical

Boundaries are not restriction.  Boundaries are all about freedom and recognizing when these freedoms have been crossed.  Setting boundaries is all about taking care of ourselves.  Boundaries give us framework in which to negotiate life’s event.  Boundaries lead to winning relationships for both parties.

 

Sometimes we make excuses....

SHARED FROM:
StarMetro, Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Starting Out by Jeanisha Wan
FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES CAN DO WONDERS

Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves for what we cannot do because of what we do not have.

Sometimes we complaint about the lack of support.

But at the end of the day, the choice is still ours

Our situation can only change if we decide to do something with what we have, not what we do not have.

Charisma has the power to attract

SHARED FROM:
StarMetro, Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Sight & Sounds by Wandra Ooi
CHARISMA, THE POWER TO ATTRACT

In day-to-day interaction, one of the most impressive traits is something that pictures don’t usually convey very well – charisma.  Charisma is more than simple charm or an engaging personality.  Charisma definitely goes beyond looks.  It’s a magnetic pull that is so intangible.

One of the most basic understandings about charisma is that it lies in the exchange.  Charisma has the power to attract, foster trust and truly engage.  It’s the ability to turn a ‘no’ into a ‘yes’ simply because people like you.

Charisma, like any skill or talent, can be acquired.  Take time and make effort to hone a skill that help gain friends and influence people.  We like to be around people whose cups are always half full instead of half empty; people who can turn a negative vibe into a positive one with their optimism and enthusiasm.

Charismatic isn’t just about being cheerful, passionate or energetic.  Many people confuse charisma with being an extrovert.  Charismatic people take work seriously, but they don’t take themselves too seriously.  They are not easily offended because they find different point of views interesting instead of insulting; and they are not easily embarrassed because they can laugh at themselves.

We like people who are aware that it’s not all about them; people who are genuinely interested when they speak to us.  Charismatic people make the conversation about the other person, not about themselves and this is one of the most useful tools to remember when talking to someone.

For some people, genuine interest in people takes conscious effort.  Small talk is never useless of forced banter.  People with charisma have the magis to make you feel like you’re the only person in a roomful of people.  Genuine interest shows in active listening, responding accordingly, te way we speak and is also reflected in our body speak, our eyes, and our smile.

Self-consciousness is something that charismatic people lack, simply because they know that it’s never about them but about the other person or the audience.  This awareness leads to truly engage with people.

 

You are beautiful

You don't need to try to be someone else just so that you can fit in.

You are beautiful on your own and that is your powerful gift.

if you are always looking for the approval of others, you will then be seeking for it all your live.

- Nick Vujicic

 

 

Motivation gets you through the day,

but inspiration lasts a lifetime

-Nick Vujicic

Learn to be a victor rather than a victim

SHARED FROM:
MetroBiz, Wednesday, 18 September 2013
Corporate Guru by Pooja Swami Sukhabodhananda
BETTER RATHER THAN BITTER

think differently and

do not allow your fear to guide your life

Many people need to learn to be a victor rather than a victim.  Many have become victims to their psychological patterns and idiosyncrasies where it often represent failures that do not allow the celebration of success.

When you carry hatred inside your mind and heart for a long time, it will spoil your mind and heart.  Life is often spoilt due to one's differences with others.  Differences need not end up as hatred.  Differences are just differences, but one has to be careful not to tag and wrap those differences with dislike and hatred.

It need strength to think differently.  That way we can do better in business and live a better life rather than a bitter life.

2.7 THE SKILLS YOU NEED TO BE A GREAT BOSS: Obstructive Behavior Patterns

(EXTRACTION FROM TEAM MANAGEMENT: Improving Team Effectiveness at http://www.mindtools.com)

 

Some people may display behaviors that hold them back.  James Waldroop and Timothy Butler have identified six of the most troublesome traits, and assigned each an easy-to recognize "character."

THE SIX CHARACTERS AND THEIR PROBLEM BEHAVIORS WALDROOP AND BUTLER'S SIX PROBLEM BEHAVIORS
1	The Hero	·        Driven by personal and organizational success ·        constantly push themselves and others to complete projects on time and on quality, producing top results ·        can push themselves too far and burn out ·        have trouble retaining staff, because only some people can tolerate the heavy workloads that Heroes expect ·        To spot Heroes, look at your high achievers ·        They often the first to arrive at the office, and the last to leave Coaching Heroes ·        communicate appreciation for their good work ·        discuss your concern for their well-being ·        let them know they need to slow down occasionally ·        Outline specific problem behaviours, such as working overly long hours; so that they understand how their actions can harm themselves and the people around them ·        it's important that they develop empathy toward their staff ·        help them avoid burnout by suggesting time off or delegating some of their ·        Advise them o   listen to their own people closely so that they're sensitive to signs of overwork o   pull back if they're overworking their teams o   put a stop if they frequently contact their staff during off hours
2	The Meritocrat	·        believe that the best ideas stand on their own ·        loathe office politics ·        often poor negotiators ·        usually hard working and intelligent ·        have a great deal of integrity ·        lack of political savvy ·        others are promoted ahead of them ·        unwilling to sell their ideas to key stakeholders ·        restricting their own visibility within their organization Coaching Meritocrats ·        Start with sympathy ·        Remind them: o   ideas can only progress if decision makers are on board o   building alliances and selling ideas are an essential part of this process ·        focus on one of their recent ideas ·        win over key stakeholders and potential allies
3	The Bulldozer	·        accomplish their goals at all costs ·        can intimidate and alienate others in pursuit of goals ·        distrust others ·        often have high staff turnover within their teams Coaching Bulldozers ·        Approach Bulldozers by becoming one yourself ·        Speak bluntly and let them know that they've made office enemies ·        Gather evidence to rebut any protests ·        be ready to cite examples ·        encourage them to right their wrongs ·        Explain how they can use apologies to rebuild their damaged relationships
4	The Pessimist	·        oppose any change ·        largely driven by fear ·        work to avoid mistakes and failures Coaching Pessimists ·        care deeply about their team and organization ·        by recognizing the value of caution ·        move on to help them understand how damaging excessive worry can be ·        may oppose changes because they don't understand them ·        encourage Pessimists to use Risk Analysis
5	The Rebel	·        managing these people can be challenging ·        defy authority at every turn ·        thrive on provocation ·        their attitude can undermine team morale ·        can even change an organization's culture, over time ·        often have great leadership potential ·        recognize where change is needed ·        have the energy and passion to effect change ·        often need a firm hand and an inspiring coach to transform their negative energy into a force for positive Coaching Rebels ·        Stay calm, and be assertive ·        Assign Rebels projects that call for them to win others over ·        Challenge to write down everything that they believe the organization should change
6	The Home Run Hitter	·        work for the approval of their boss and colleagues ·        motivated by a need for approval ·        are successful Coaching Home Run Hitters ·        Start by communicating how much they’re appreciated ·        discuss their career strategy ·        stress the importance of risk analysis ·        Encourage them to put the team's success first

2.6 THE SKILLS YOU NEED TO BE A GREAT BOSS: Helping People Understand and Enforce Rules

(EXTRACTION FROM TEAM MANAGEMENT: Improving Team Effectiveness at http://www.mindtools.com)

 

Adults tend to resent rules.  Especially rules in the workplace.  Organizations need rules because not everyone has the same level of common sense or awareness of consequences, and not everyone can be trusted.  Some people take advantage of situations for their benefit.  That's why rules are necessary.  When you appreciate this, you can help yourself – and others – follow the rules and build more harmony in the workplace.

Solving Key Teamworking Problems

A team may fall apart because of bickering, infighting, or a failure of accountability.  It’s frustrating to watch teams disintegrate.

LENCIONI'S FIVE DYSFUNCTIONS OF A TEAM
1	Absence of trust
2	Fear of conflict
3	Lack of commitment
4	Avoidance of team accountability
5	Inattention to team objectives

2.5 THE SKILLS YOU NEED TO BE A GREAT BOSS: Accounting for Time

(EXTRACTION FROM TEAM MANAGEMENT: Improving Team Effectiveness at http://www.mindtools.com)

 

People’s time costs money.  Employers need to know that their people are at work for the right hours.  They also need to know what their people are working on when they're there.  The few methods of monitoring are:

·        clock in and out

·        fill in timesheets

·        allocate the proportion of the time spent on each project to different project codes

There is a need to have an appropriate time recording system in place.

 

BENEFITS OF ACCOUNTING FOR TIME
For Payroll	·        most basic form ·        using a time card to "clock in" on a machine ·        machine records the hours worked ·        the practice can protect both employees and their supervisors ·        the system will immediately pick up on any overtime payments
For Invoicing	·        need to track and account for time accurately ·        to invoice their clients correctly
To Identify Productivity	·        record how productive each person is ·        measuring the proportion of each day spend on chargeable work ·        relates to when work is sold to the client at a fixed price ·        time recording reveals people's productivity levels ·        allows the firm to analyze how accurate their estimating process is
To Understand Internal Costs	·        need to know what different activities cost ·        applies both to project-based work, and to "business as usual" activities ·        helps organizations identify proportion of the overheads costs and proportion of operational, and how this changes over time ·        can calculate the full cost ·        gives a more accurate picture of efficiency ·        allows you to identify trends ·        better  able to understand and manage your business

 

TYPES OF TIMEKEEPING SYSTEMS
Card clocking	·        Traditional time clocks ·        use punch cards ·        Today it’s electronic and can be tracked very accurately o   portable systems o   biometric devices
Time sheets	·        use to track items like attendance, break time, project time, and billable hours ·        helps evaluate time by worker, task, project, and client ·        very customizable, and can be tailored to meet the exact needs
Computer-based time recording	·        can track hours per project, distinguish between billable and non-billable tasks, manage absences, calculate overtime, and print reports automatically

 

Some organizations have no choice but to use a timekeeping system.  It’s important for timekeeping to outweigh the costs.  Make sure you know why you want to track it, how you'll use the information, and whether the analysis will lead to changes and improvements.