THE ART OF EMOTIONAL MASTERY

Emotional Mastery is acknowledging how you feel and controlling your feelings so they don’t control you.  So, Emotional Mastery is the gradual process of attaining complete emotional control.

Emotions are just responses that are triggered by the experiences you have.

So, in short, Emotional Mastery is recognising your emotions to smarter, confident and better at handling relationships.  It means that you are really good at acknowledging, understanding and processing the emotions.  The key components of Emotional Mastery are:

- Emotional awareness 

- Emotional regulation 

- Emotional expressions 

- Emotional recovery 

Emotional Mastery can be one of the most powerful skills for personal success and meaningful relationships.  It involves understanding, managing, channelling emotional energy constructively.  Emotional Mastery doesn’t mean eliminating emotions, it’s just about developing the ability to recognise emotional state, understand their origin and choosing the appropriate responses.

With Emotional Mastery, leaders can unlock full potential, lead with greater authenticity and foster a more positive and productive work environment.  To unlock the latent potential of leaders, there need to have ability to empathise, understand and connect; ability in conflict resolution; and ability to motivate and inspire. 

The benefits of Emotional Mastery are:

1. Immediate awareness of the choices made 

2. Richer experience of life and feelings 

3. Rewarding experience of connection 

4. Stability and consistency 

5. Sophisticated management of all types of relationships 

Steps to master your emotions 

1. Consider your feelings/identify the real feelings 

2. Acknowledge your emotions/learn to appreciate emotions and pay attention to them 

3. Pique your curiosity/learn to approach emotion with a sense of curiosity 

    - understand the entire process from start to finish 

    - personality framework can help identify core emotional patterns and motivation, and recognise recurring emotional triggers 

4. Get confident/learn to handle the emotions again in the future 

5. Be certain/establish a plan/know how to react 

6. Take action/control the emotions 

Aside mastering your emotions, there is also this thing called emotional blindness and it varies between people where they sometimes experience 

1. Strain relationships 

2. Conflict at work 

3. A sense of always ‘missing out’

4. Vulnerability to manipulation 

5. Sense of victimhood

6. People around seems so unpredictable 

Poor Emotional Mastery can hinder leadership effectiveness, stifle personal growth and impact organisation success.  The consequences of poor Emotional Mastery:

1. Pessimism - may have difficulty inspiring hope and resilience in challenging times 

2. Less strategic - may make impulsive decisions, cloud judgement 

3. Easily dissatisfied - may focus on what’s lacking 

4. Lack of personal goals - may lack sense of direction, may become stagnant 

5. Strained relationships - may have difficulty connecting, resolving conflicts, and maintaining cohesive work environments 

6. Reduced resilience - may erode resilience and thus difficult to bounce back

7. Stifled creativity - may struggle to think outside the box and explore new solutions to complex problems 

According to Dr Patrick Keelan, there are three laws of Emotional Mastery, i.e. think accurately, accept emotions, and tolerate short term pain.  To develop Emotional Mastery, you need to

1. Acknowledge and process own feelings 

2. Notice, feel and accept a feeling 

3. Understand the lessons of the emotions 

4. Think things through and make plans 

Displaying emotions is a unique aspect of human.  Emotions, whether we recognise them or not, impact every aspect of our life.  The expression of emotions in our lives is so expansive.  So, its important to understand own emotions so as to give us the ability to understand other people better.

Emotions are often underestimated traits that holds potential in leadership development.  It’s a profound aspect of human experience that can shape interactions, decisions, and effectiveness as leaders.  Remember this too, emotions also greatly influences communication because of the unique tone of emotions. 

Reference 

thelivingwell.com

skillsyouneed.com

alexanderbutler.coach 

medium.com (The power of Emotional Mastery)

corporateclassic.com (The power of Emotional Mastery)

drpatrickkeelan.com (The three laws of Emotional Mastery)

omozua.com (Emotional Mastery: Forming concepts and emotions)

GRATITUDE, EMPLOYEES AND WORKPLACE

 The most important thing in gratitude leadership is giving thanks.  This matters because it will improve sense of wellbeing, have higher self esteem, will decrease depression and anxiety, helps sleep better, improve overall life satisfaction.  Being grateful is an expectation in one’s personal lives, yet gratitude in the workplace is especially critical.

Gratitude is the positive emotion felt after receiving something valuable.  It is a feeling of thankfulness or acknowledgement for receiving something.  Appreciation is not gratitude; nor is acceptance.  The difference with appreciation is that appreciation is about recognising and enjoying the good qualities of someone, acknowledging value and worth.

Gratitude is a complex social emotion where actions may simply be based on the sense of social worth and feeling valued by others.  Studies shown that many employees say they’d be willing to work harder for an appreciative boss (Glassdoor Survey).  Gratitude is something that will motivate the team, creates a sense of purpose, helps drive behaviour change and it will also lowers stress and anxiety.

Showing kindness in the workplace can improve organisational culture.  Workplace are build on relationships.  Thus interactions will shape our work experience.  But we must not forget that connections fulfills the fundamental human needs which is the need to feel valued and appreciated.

No matter how good the gratitude culture is, there exist the so call gratitude gap because people don’t like to admit they need help at work, and thanking someone means admitting it.

Most management takes things for granted i.e. expect employees to perform, depends on teams to exceed expectations, and also trust leaders and managers to lead with courage.

There are many ways to show more gratitude at work like sending a note expressing gratitude, keeping a gratitude journal, and taking time out for reflection.  Gratitude at work can also be encouraged by,

- offering thank you cards

- creating space for gratitude, be it physically or virtually 

- counting blessings when things go wrong (find the silver lining)

- being grateful to the people not the performance 

- learn to notice each person’s accomplishments 

- tailoring the gratitude accordingly 

- being specific in giving gratitude 

- being sincere, do not fake it 

Typically we are not taught to be grateful, especially at work.  Showing gratitude is actually understanding vulnerability.  In order to be grateful, we need to see people for who they really are; consciously connect work with a sense of higher purpose, and to always express gratitude.  Expressing gratitude conveys genuine delight in a way that illuminates the unique value of its recipient.  Saying thanks is a platitude whereas gratitude is an orientation towards life.  

Reference 

ccl.org (Gratitude at work, Cathleen Clerkin PhD, Nov 17, 2024)

carpedia.com (Gratitude as management skill, Jacques Gauthier)

2040digital.com (Mindful Management: The Power of Gratitude and Building Trust)

thesavageleader.com (Why leaders need to practice gratitude)

linkedin.com (The case for management by gratitude, Lily Garcia Walton)