StarMetro, Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Sight & Sounds by Xandra Ooi
RIGHT OR WRONG
There are
people with such a strong sense of self that they are largely unaffected by
what anybody says. Many of us however,
rarely develop such a deep sense of surety without some form of validation,
however small.
To be told
that we are wrong, especially as an adult, is to question our beliefs, values
and principles. It is extremely
difficult to see another person’s point of view when we are angry, and most of
the time, we do not want to empathise because we think the person’s mind-set
and behaviour is ‘wrong’ and we do not want to be wrongly influenced.
Friendship,
interestingly, are based on feelings of right-ness. We like being with people who reaffirm our
values. Friends who behave or think in a
way that is incongruent with our beliefs are friends whom we slowly
disassociate with. Friendship may be
priceless; but they are apparently also easily dispensable. When our friends behave in a manner that we
deem inconsiderate, unreasonable or selfish, it is much easier to leave that
friend behind than to try fixing it. Sometimes
without even realising it, we star to play the blame game.
The only
way to get past the feeling of frustration and discontentment is simply to
change the way we think and behave,
change sounds like an arduous task, when in fact sometimes, changing the
way we think is simply putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.
At the very
core of it, the feeling of righteousness comes from fear. Many times, it is our own insecurities and
fears that hold us back from who we know we can be. We may not like what we find when we look
within, but at least we won’t go through life playing the blame game and
feeling like a victim.
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