Short Notes From:
EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK
Dealing with Bosses and
Coworkers Who Brain You Dry
Albert J. Bernstein, PhD.
McGraw Hill Education
258 pages
THE MAGICAL WORLD OF HISTRIONICS HAMS
Histrionics
are best at looking good. The important
thing to remember in dealing with Histrionics is what you see is definitely not
what you get. The simplest and least
dangerous Histrionics you’ll meet at work are the ham-it-up performers who
crave attention so much that they overdo everything. Histrionic Hams can hurt you only if you are
fooled or outraged.
Histrionics
believe in magic. They can make problems
disappear by ignoring them. Histrionics managers
are extroverts. They spend less time
balancing alternatives and thinking things through; instead they focus outward,
trying to inspire their subordinates. They
named this magical approach to management as motivation.
One
of the many contradictions in the Histrionics personality is in the way they
classify people. They think you’re
wonderful until they think you’re terrible.
Histrionics hate conflict, yet they create far more than their share of
it.
Middle
management in many organizations is full of Histrionics who get where they are
by being positive and motivated, and stay there by seeing that nobody rocks the
boat. Histrionics devoutly wish for
everything to run smoothly.
Emotional
vampires excel at recognizing how people want to be seen. They use that as the basis for
communicating. It is one pf the most
effective ways of getting people to listen to you and do what you want them to
do.
Histrionic
bosses are not good at boundaries. They tend
to see all their relationships more much more intimate than they actually
are. Histrionics keep asking for more
and more emotional support. They are
often a mass of insecurities. With Histrionics,
relationships are unbalanced. It’s all
about them. Being friends with your boss
can be a positive experience.
Deciding
to have an outside work relationship with your boss requires slow, careful
thinking. There are definitely pros and cons
to consider. If your boss qualifies as
one of the vampire types, it might be a good idea to keep a formal
distance. Histrionics love gossip, and
they cannot keep secrets.
To be continued…
Coming next: passive aggressive…
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