Friendship is based on feelings of right-ness

SHARED FROM:
StarMetro, Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Sight & Sounds by Xandra Ooi
RIGHT OR WRONG

There are people with such a strong sense of self that they are largely unaffected by what anybody says.  Many of us however, rarely develop such a deep sense of surety without some form of validation, however small.

To be told that we are wrong, especially as an adult, is to question our beliefs, values and principles.  It is extremely difficult to see another person’s point of view when we are angry, and most of the time, we do not want to empathise because we think the person’s mind-set and behaviour is ‘wrong’ and we do not want to be wrongly influenced.

Friendship, interestingly, are based on feelings of right-ness.  We like being with people who reaffirm our values.  Friends who behave or think in a way that is incongruent with our beliefs are friends whom we slowly disassociate with.  Friendship may be priceless; but they are apparently also easily dispensable.  When our friends behave in a manner that we deem inconsiderate, unreasonable or selfish, it is much easier to leave that friend behind than to try fixing it.  Sometimes without even realising it, we star to play the blame game.

The only way to get past the feeling of frustration and discontentment is simply to change the way we think and behave,  change sounds like an arduous task, when in fact sometimes, changing the way we think is simply putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

At the very core of it, the feeling of righteousness comes from fear.  Many times, it is our own insecurities and fears that hold us back from who we know we can be.  We may not like what we find when we look within, but at least we won’t go through life playing the blame game and feeling like a victim.

WHAT MATTERS MOST

SHARED FROM:
Star2, Wednesday, 2 October 2013
QUESTIONING WHAT MATTERS MOST
By Kua Chong Ming

We are here, in this world, to live.  Take the joy in being a part of something amazing.  Do not make money as the pursuit of happiness.  Understand and see our lives more than just the nine to five of tagging in and out of the revolving door at work.  Spend time with your loved ones; see them grow physically, mentally and emotionally.  Place your loved ones on a higher priority than tangible performance like money and pay.

The best give we can give our children

SHARED FROM:
Star2, Wednesday, 2 October 2013
Mummy Cool by S.Shamala
TRYING NOT TO HOVER

Most parents want to give their children the best childhood experience while equipping them with the knowledge and values that will mould them into great individuals.  This should be done without overlooking the process of giving them a chance to learn their lessons the hard way.

Parents need to learn not to take responsibility for their children’s feelings and behaviour.  Helicopter parents take too much responsibility for their children and fix their problems to protect them from being upset or disappointed, and also tend to be overly punitive.  When boundaries are not strong and parents hover too closely, the child will depend on the parents to step in.  The child will learn to relinquish the responsibility of sorting out their mess to their willing parents.  This will hampers them from developing a backbone.

The best give we can give our children is trusting them to make their mark in the world.

TIPS FOR INTERVIEWEES

SHARED FROM:
The Star, Thursday, 3 October 2013
Reflecting On The Law by Shad Saleem Faruqi

LIFE IS ABOUT SUBSTANCE AS WELL AS SHOW,

REALITY AS WELL AS APPEARANCE, ISI AS WELL AS GAYA

Now and then all of us are interviewed for a job, assignment, or honour.  On such occasions, it is important to put our best foot forward.  There are no sure recipes, but some observations may be useful.

1. To be rather than to seem

Experience also teaches us that life is about substance as well as show.  It is a reality as well as appearance.  We must not only be, we must also appear to be!  For these reasons we must go prepared to showcase our achievements and to project ourselves as the best candidates.  Our past is as important as our claims for the future.

2. Prepare an impressive CV with a colourful photograph

Begin with the latest and the best.  Prepare a one page synopsis highlighting the summits of your life.  Include a few strong references.  Enclose proof of accomplishments and accolades.

3. Prepare an impressive opening statement

Highlight your immersion and passion for the post.

4. Prepare a carefully crafted closing statement

Highlight whatever you wish should be known.

5. Do some homework about the organization

The targeted position, the reward you are seeking and the likely possible interviewers.  This may help you anticipate the direction of the discussion.

6. Anticipate and prepare for likely questions
7. What you can contribute to the organization

Have your ideas organized.  Precise, systematic answers always make an impact.

8. Prepare some questions

Request permission to put in a few carefully phrased pre-prepared comments.  Avoid issues of salary and other terms unless you are asked.

9. Try to find out the format of the interview

Sometimes you are required to make a presentation.  Avoid an extremely technical show.

10. Your appearance must be appropriate

First impressions do count.  Be cautiously moderate.

11. Greet the chairperson and members warmly

Do not focus only on one interviewer.  Seek the chairperson’s permission to distribute CV.  Do not be seated till asked to do so.

12. Show positivity and enthusiasm

Exude an intensity of commitment, a burning desire, and a single minded determination to achieve your goals.  Attitude more than aptitude determines altitude.  This attitude has to be cultivated.  It will not be the result of spontaneous combustion.

13. Slip in a brief impressive opening statement
14. Listen very attentively to each question

Maintain eye contact. Answer in full sentences.  Do not be evasive.  Communication skills are the most vital tool at an interview and indeed in any future leadership role.  What you say id sometimes less important than how you say it.

15. Be pro-active in slipping in positive information that show cases of your achievements

Do not exaggerate accomplishments. Be honest about limitations.  State how you intend to overcome limitations, and that you will not allow limits to limit you.

16. Do not be thrown-off by unfriendly questions

Sometimes they are asked to test your composure.  Courage is grace under pressure.  Patience is restrained strength.

17. Use the same language as the interviewer unless instructed otherwise
18. Never demonise your former boss, organization or colleagues
19. Thank everyone and sign-off with a pre-prepared closing statement once the interview ends
20. Do not be disheartened by lack of success

Do not give up.  Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities but in their determination and perseverance.

Keep dreaming.  It is on dreams that realities are built.  Act on your dreams.

Technology is a double-edged sword

SHARED FROM:
The Star, Monday, 7 October 2013
Reports by P Aruna, Neville Spykerman, and D Kanyakumari
TECHNOLOGY AFFECTS WORK PERFORMANCE AND PERSONAL LIVES
INABILITY TO ‘SWTICH OFF’ CAUSES BURNOUTS

 Technology has changed the way people work in so many ways, including how bosses expect employees to be ‘at work’ all the time.  It has affected both work performance and personal lives.  People are constantly worried about the quality of their work and having to be on their toes for their clients all the time.  Work has become their life.

Employees can be burnout, stressed and ultimately less productive if they are not ‘switched off’ from work and respond to emails and calls outside working hours.  Such workers, who are ‘on call’ almost 24 hours a day, lose their work-life balance and end up becoming distant from their friends and families.

Technology is a double-edged sword.  It allows us to have flexibility in our work.  But it also often seeps into our personal lives where we are reachable at all hours and therefore expected to ‘work’ while on holiday.  It blurs the lines between work and life outside of work.

An Inflamed Appendix

Shared from:

Star 2, Wednesday 11 September 2013

An Inflamed Appendix ... Tell Me About…..Dr. Y.L.M

 Most people believe that the appendix is a remnant of our evolutionary past, and that we no longer need it. Remnant or not, an inflamed appendix can lead to all sorts of trouble.

Appendix is situated at the junction of the small intestine and large intestine. It is a thin tube measuring about 4 inches long. For majority of people, the appendix sits in the lower right part of their abdomen.

The appendix is hollow like a tube and drains out into the caecum which is the first part of the large intestine. The appendix virtually does nothing at all for the body. Some scientist postulate that the appendix acts to store “good” bacteria, therefore “jump-starting” our system with this bacteria after we have experienced diarrhoea.

Appendix has caused many problems and many admissions to the hospitals. Appendicitis is inflammation of the appendix. It usually occurs when bacteria invades and inflames the walls of the appendix. Doctors think appendicitis occurs when:

-          The opening of the appendix(which drains to the caecum) is blocked to build up of the thick mucous inside the appendix

-          Or maybe due to a solid stool which has entered the appendix

-           When blockage occur, the good bacteria inside the appendix have nowhere to go, and they multiply and invade the appendix wall

-          The appendix can swell into such as huge proportions that it can rapture.

Rapture can cause the bacteria to spread throughout the abdomen, thus causing a more widespread infection to occur.

When appendicitis occurs, most people will experiences abdominal pain. The pain is often poorly localized and diffused around the abdomen.  The pain maybe associated with loss of appetite, nausea and vomiting. As the inflammation progresses the pain is confined in a small area between the right hip bone and the belly button. If the appendix should rapture, the pain becomes diffused and the entire abdomen can become tender. It is usual to have a fever as well.

Most people believe favoritism exists

Shared from:

Star 2, Wednesday 11 September 2013

Favoritism is not dirty word by Tee Hun Ching

 

We may seem to favors one child over another but deep down,

We love them equally

-just not in the same ways 

The topic of favoritism is a contentious one. Most people believe it exists. Most parents will flat out deny it. American journalist Jeffrey Khiger wrote in Time Magazine on the title “Why Mom Liked You Best: Science of Favoritism” that favoritism is one of the worst-kept secrets of family life that all parents have a preferred son or daughter. 

Our ties with our kids are complex and nuanced, depending on countless variables from age and gender to chemistry and personality. We love our kids in different ways, but we love them equally much.