Short Notes From:
EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK
Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Brain You Dry
Albert J. Bernstein, PhD.
McGraw Hill Education
THE MAGICAL WORLD OF HISTRIONICS HAMS
Histrionics are best at looking good. The important thing to remember in dealing with Histrionics is what you see is definitely not what you get. The simplest and least dangerous Histrionics you’ll meet at work are the ham-it-up performers who crave attention so much that they overdo everything. Histrionic Hams can hurt you only if you are fooled or outraged.
Histrionics believe in magic. They can make problems disappear by ignoring them. Histrionics managers are extroverts. They spend less time balancing alternatives and thinking things through; instead they focus outward, trying to inspire their subordinates. They named this magical approach to management as motivation.
One of the many contradictions in the Histrionics personality is in the way they classify people. They think you’re wonderful until they think you’re terrible. Histrionics hate conflict, yet they create far more than their share of it.
Middle management in many organizations is full of Histrionics who get where they are by being positive and motivated, and stay there by seeing that nobody rocks the boat. Histrionics devoutly wish for everything to run smoothly.
Emotional vampires excel at recognizing how people want to be seen. They use that as the basis for communicating. It is one pf the most effective ways of getting people to listen to you and do what you want them to do.
Histrionic bosses are not good at boundaries. They tend to see all their relationships more much more intimate than they actually are. Histrionics keep asking for more and more emotional support. They are often a mass of insecurities. With Histrionics, relationships are unbalanced. It’s all about them. Being friends with your boss can be a positive experience.
Deciding to have an outside work relationship with your boss requires slow, careful thinking. There are definitely pros and cons to consider. If your boss qualifies as one of the vampire types, it might be a good idea to keep a formal distance. Histrionics love gossip, and they cannot keep secrets.
To be continued…
Coming next: passive aggressive…