Wednesday, December 21, 2016

9 EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK: HISTRONICS


Short Notes From:

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK

Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Brain You Dry

Albert J. Bernstein, PhD.

McGraw Hill Education

258 pages

 

HISTRONICS

 Image result for histrionics cartoons

Histrionics means dramatic.  They are always putting on a show.  Histrionics are hooked on attention and approval.  They are extroverts for whom the only reality is the audience.  They want good reviews, and they are willing to work hard to get them.  They’ll sing and dance their way into your heart.

 

Histrionic are virtuosos (a person with a special knowledge of or interest in works of art or curios) of polite conversation, so interested that they make you feel interesting.  One of their finest inventions is small talk, the miracle glue that holds conversations together.  They also invented gossips.

 

Histrionics have what it takes to get hired.  They bubble with enthusiasm and sparkle with wit, and positive attitude.  Histrionics can’t tolerate boring day-to-day responsibilities.  They’d rather put on a show instead, or maybe a motivational rally.

 

Histrionics are quite skilled at the roles they play.  They are always the good guys.  Medical dramas are a specialty, as are soap operas with you as the prosecuting villain.  Histrionics never see themselves as having problems at all. Only the misfortune of being surrounded by insensitive, unmotivated people.

 

Stereo type Histrionics are often referred to as Drama Queens.  They explode into emotion at the slight provocation.  Histrionics are often promoted over their more qualified peers because their enthusiasm and positive attitude can easily be mistaken for ability.  They look like perfect middle managers, the kind who can keep everybody happy and not create problems for the people above them.  Histrionics are not detail people.  They firmly believe that if everybody is motivated enough, the details will take care of themselves,

 

Histrionics are really nice, but they can also be incredibly cruel.  The secret to dealing with Histrionics is to know them better than they know themselves. 

HISTRIONICS STYLE
1
Stands out in a crowd by virtue of looks, dress or personality
2
Outgoing, friendly, enthusiastic, entertaining, and absolutely wonderful in social situations
3
Likes meetings
4
Often speak in superlatives (an exaggerated or hyperbolical expression of praise)
5
Treats superficial acquaintances as if they were close friends
6
Loves to chat, gossip and tell stories
7
Rarely found at his desk
8
Eyes glaze when anyone talks about technical details
9
When ask for specifics, often responds with vivid but vague clich├ęs, buzzword and sports metaphors
10
Believes that attitude is everything
11
Often talks behind people’s back
12
Acts shocked and betrayed if anyone talks behind their back
13
Does not claim to be smart, but cannot conceive of being wrong
14
Unpredictable in stressful situations, way overreact, completely withdraw or both
15
Cannot tolerate criticism
16
Doesn’t admit to be angry, even when the anger is quite apparent to everybody
17
Often spaces out day to day details
18
Sends a lot of emails that sre hard to decipher
-       Can’t tell if something is upsetting them
-       May not be able to figure out what they want you to do about it
19
Has one or more unusual ailments that come and go according to no discernible pattern
20
Feverently follows several television shows of sports teams
5 or more true answers to this checklist qualifies the person as a Histrionic Emotional Vampire

 

 

PERSONALITY CHARACTERISTICS OF A HISTRIONIC EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE
1
EXTROVERSION
-       Social creatures to a fault
-       Tend to be extroverted
-       Can be cheerful, cordial, witty, sexy, exciting
-       Full of drama and style
2
UNPREDICTABILITY
-       Love attention when its positive
-       Strive for social acceptability
-       Work hard to live up to everyone’s expectations
-       Believe that everyone should think they are wonderful
3
UNPREDICTABILITY
-       Reality is defined by gut feelings rather than objective facts
4
BELIEF IN MAGIC
-       Believe if they want something , it will somehow come to them
5
LACK OF CONCERN WITH DETAILS
-       Don’t think much about how or why things happen.  They just do it.
6
VAGUE COMMUNICATION
-       Love buzzwords and sports metaphors
7
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
-       Invented the undiagnosable illness
-       When under stress, they experience it in their bodies rather than in their minds

 

 

The Histrionics comes in 2 basic styles:

  1. Hams:                    crave attention and will do whatever it takes to get it
  2. Passive-aggressive:         want approval so much that they cannot possibly think or do anything that is unacceptable

 

 

 

To be continued…

Coming next: the magical world of histrionic hams…

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