6 TOUGH TALKS TO IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS

The 4 most feared words in a relationship are: “We have to talk”.  These 4 words usually indicate that something is not right and that someone is not happy.  No one teaches us how to confront or talk about things we aren’t happy or satisfied with.  Holding emotions in can lead to sickness.  Talking about them in a constructive manner can make them better and improve your relationships.  Knowing how to phrase or bring up an incident prior to speaking can help minimize the problem and strengthen your relationship

6 COMMON PROBLEMS THAT OCCURS A RELATIONSHIP

No.	Common problems	Probable suggestions
1.	Your friend never pays their share when you go out -if you are paying every time you get together with your friend, you will soon become resentful and not want to get together anymore	Ask for separate checks
2.	You think your partner lied to you -before accusing, make sure you know they lied -know what you want -to confess? -to ask forgiveness? -to explain? -emotions get out of hand, relationship and friendship split over this problem -when there is a lie told, the worst part of the lie is not the problem, the cover-up is	-decides what you want from the relationship going forward -tell them how much the incident hurt and how betrayed you feel -outcome you want from confronting -you understand -honesty -partner knows how much it hurt you -may decide to end relationship
3.	Your friend or partner is consistently late -it is disrespectful -do not be part of the problem by allowing it	-tell your partner/friend not to push time -tell them to choose a time they can be there -best address the issue prior to meetings -tell them gently that: -you understand that they are busy and time is precious and so it is for you too -tell them to inform if they’re going to be late
4.	Your partner no longer listens to you -when one partner tunes out another, the relationship begins feeling distant and alone -talking over somebody is a sign of disrespect -tuning out happens most of the time when electronics are on	-pay attention to when it happens -talk slowly and calmly in their time of stress Ask them directly to stop talking over you -ask them to give you eye contact when talking -ask them for feedback -set up monthly budget plan
6.	You’re hit the ‘friend zone’ in your relationship and don’t feel the romance anyone -intimacy issues are a leading cause of relationship failing through -romance is about building connection	-take the time to be supportive -hug your partner whenever you can -give positive comments -show appreciation -prioritizes time alone each week

No matter what the situation or who is it,

the important points to remember when confronting is

1.  Timing

2.  Compromise

3.  Honest

4.  Choose battles wisely

5.  Understanding

Mary Jo Rafrini

We Have To Talk

Star2 Thursday 27 March 2014