Discover other people’s set of ‘rules’

SHARED FROM:

StarMetro, Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Sight & Sounds by Xandra Ooi

LEARNING ABOUT COMMON SENSE

Being ungallant is not always ill-mannered

But a case of not knowing how to

 

One would think that opening doors was hardly a big deal.  Door opening, for people before or after you, isn’t as efficient or habitual as one might figure.  Most of the time, we don’t mean to be rude or ill-mannered.  We just ‘don’t know’.  The problem is, for people above the age of 16, ‘don’t know’ will be seen as ‘no manners’.  Being unaware and oblivious will translate into ‘no common sense’, which will in turn make a bad impression.

Common sense is a term used to imply that you would have the sensible judgement and insight to do or say certain things without being prompted.  The problem lies when what is common to you might not be common to others.

Common sense is made up of 2 main things:

• What your mum did, or didn’t teach
• Held the door for others
• Smiling to people
• Always offer to help carry things for elders or women
• Greet people when first walk into a room, not wait for them to greet
• When going to someone’s house, it’s best to bring a little gift or token
• When at a house party, always head to the kitchen to see if any assistance is needed, not just plonk down on the sofa
• Culture (the environment we grow up in)

Every culture has its own set of ‘rules’.  When we travel, it helps to bear in mind that we might encounter another set of rules that may be similar to or completely different from the rules we know.

In Asia, there’s this culture of employees not voicing their doubts or ask questions when given an instruction that they don’t understand.  Instead they just smile and nod, giving rise to problems when the task isn’t performed well because they were unclear about what the boss wanted.  Some bosses may think that the employees don’t have the ‘common sense’ to ask.

It’s uncommon to ask questions in public school in Asia.  The more the students nod and keep quiet, the more the teachers like them.  Students who ask too many questions are not seen as being respectful to their elders.  Most of us tend not to voice our opinions in case we are seen as ‘discipline problem’.

We need to take time to discover other people’s set of ‘rules’ so that we can discover what is ‘common sense’ to them.  What is common to you might not be common to me, but I can always take the time to learn.  ‘Common sense’ when defined clearly, is simply another skill set we can and should develop.