Wednesday, November 18, 2015


Regrets may cause you to think about things you would like to have done differently.  It maybe over the things you have done or may not have done.  No one lived a life without regret.  But it’s how you deal with that regret that makes a huge difference to the way you feel about yourself.

There is no such thing as a life without any regrets.  Regrets in life can become burdens that infers with present happiness.  You have to learn to forgive yourself and move on.
Understanding regrets
1.1          Learn what regrets is
·         Regret is a critical way of thinking and feeling in which people blamed themselves for things that happened.
·         Feeling regret may cause you to feel painful and may also lead to feeling grief.
·         Productive regret can lead to change of behaviour for the future
·         Unproductive regret may lead to lead to chronic stress which may further lead to health problems.

1.2          Identify your feeling of regret
·         Feeling of regret usually includes sadness, loss, remorse , anger, shame and anxiety.
·         Regret can leave you feeling defeated and hopeless.
·         You may keep thinking about
-       What was said or did
-       What you wish you would have done differently
·         These might make you worry and cause further anxiety.

1.3          Consider where the regret comes from
·         People can feel regret for a number of reasons:
-       Education
-       Work
-       Family
-       Marriage
·         It’s all about the choices that we have at that moment causing us to decide on the best choice there is.

Overcoming regret
2.1 Cognitive – Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
·         Look for motivational help that can teach you to change your habits and thinking pattern.
·         It may help you to focus on emotional healing.

2.2 Write down you regrets
·         Regret makes people wonder why they act the way they acted, or why didn’t they act.
·         One way to overcome it is by writing down the regret and all the questions that you keep asking yourself.

2.3 Learn your lessons
·         Regret is seen as one of the important lessons for the future.
·         Look for lessons learned and acknowledge it as making you into a wiser person.
·         Use the regret to your advantage, apply the wisdom you have gained.

2.4 Recognize productive regret
·         Move up to improve yourself

Moving beyond regret
3.1 Build empathy for others
·         Consider what others might be going through
·         Empathy will help you to understand others better.

3.2 Turn guilt into gratitude
·         Think about the past differently
·         Change it to a statement of gratitude

3.3 Practice self-forgiveness
·         Learn to forgive yourself
·         Develop a healthy self-esteem

3.4 Write a letter
·         Will help you practice forgiving yourself
·         Will help heal the feelings of regret.
·         Address it to yourself or past-self or younger-self

3.5 Practise daily affirmation
·         Affirmation is a positive statement to encourage, up-lift and make a person more compassionate towards one-self.
·         It will make it easier to empathize and forgive your past self.
·         It will reduce the feeling it guilt and regret.

Another form of regret people faced is when they are faced with their own mortality.  Each of them experienced a variety of emotions such as denial, fear, anger, remorse, etc.  Regret almost always happen when people realize that their life is almost over and starts looking back.

Many people suppress their feeling to be in harmony with others.  Thus, settling for a mediocre existence.  We cannot control the reactions of others.  There were regret about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.  Friendships tend to slip away due to the busy lifestyle.

Refers occurs when a person has a “profound desire’ to go back and change a past experience in which one fails to choose wisely or has made a choice that does not follow one’s values and beliefs.  Regret is fundamentally human.  Regret also has the transformative powers that assist us in learning and changing positively.

Think or regret as like
Looking in the rear view mirror
when you are during.
To drive forward well,
We often use the rear view mirror,
We do need to look behind
Regret works the same way.
It’s useful in moving us forward

-Janet Landman, PhD
Author of “Regret: the
Persistence of the possible”

Regret can serve many purposes.  We just have to figure out what regret can tell us.  The regret feeling is almost unavoidable.  So, do consider the priority in life to you before making decisions.  It might help you reduce regret.

Simplify your style.  Make conscious choices along the way.  Create more space in life.  You’ll be happier.  There’ll be more new opportunities opened, the ones that more suited your lifestyle.  The pain of regret can be turned to your advantages by using it as a motivator to make changes

Tips Transforming
Regret Into A life Enhancer
Stop obsessing
·         Obsessing will cause you to hold back from enjoying life
Figure out how to make up for what has happened
Reframe the past

What you have to do is to put the best face on things!  See the way that regret event contribute to something positive in your life.  Next is coming to terms where you “make peace” with what had happened.  Forgive yourself.  Forgive those involved. You’ll succeed in dealing with almost anything


1.    Regret, anyone?
Mary Schneider, But then again, Living, start2, Monday 25 May 2015.

2.    How to overcome Serious Regrets
3.    5 Top regret of Dying, by Bronnie Ware February 1, 2015

4.    Facing regret in life by Amy Bellows
Ph.D Psych Central

5.    Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda : How to  turn regret into a Life Boaster by Sara Reistad-Long

No comments:

Post a Comment