When their angelic princesses start throwing tantrums

SHARED FROM:
Star2, Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Teens & Tweens by Charis Patrick
NOT SO ANGELIC ANYMORE

It’s shocking to parents when their angelic princesses start throwing tantrums as they enter into their teen years.  They are often at loss on how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughters.

The news is that your tween’s developing body is full of hormones and the need to discover themselves and their place in the world take precedence other things they value.  They probably can’t acknowledge how much they love and need the parents, because they are working hard to feel ‘grown up’ and independent.  Here are some tips to make parenting tween daughter less dramatic:

1. Importance of facial expression

A study by Dr Deborah Yurgelun-Todd at McClean Hospital, a medical research facility for Harvard University found that tweens read facial expressions incorrectly about 50% of the time.  More often than not they read your emotion as anger, even when you may be feeling empathy, surprise, shock, disappointment, or even physical pain.  The key is, don’t furrow your brow when talking with teens or tweens.  Keep your face neutral and use words to convey how you feel.

2. Cultivate empathy for your daughter

Offer empathy.  Her stubbed toe may not have warranted all that fuss, but something does hurt and she does want you to kiss it and make it better, even if she isn’t exactly sure what’s bothering her and how to put it into words.

3. Don’t take anything she says or does personally

Tweens and teen girls are famous for feeling like their parents ‘just don’t understand’.  Just breathe through any ‘tantrums’ and stay calm.  Parenting is a lot if emotional work and never more so than with teen and tweens girls.  A hug and kiss sometimes speak volume and may pierce through layers of cold ‘hard-heartedness’.