Short Notes From:
EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK
Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Brain You Dry
Albert J. Bernstein, PhD.
McGraw Hill Education
Antisocial are the simplest of emotional vampires. In many ways they are the most dangerous. All they want out of life is a good time, a little action and immediate gratification of their every desire. They are immature.
Antisocial in this case means unsocialized. They are most likely to be involved in illegal behavior. Antisocial want what they want when they want it. They don’t consider morality or legality.
Antisocial like to be around people. They love parties. They are energetic extroverts. They are experts at making a good first impression. They appear friendly, attractive and highly motivated. They have what it takes to get hired or promoted. They usually don’t have what it takes to do the job. They do what comes easily and the rest they ignore.
What comes easily to antisocial is manipulation and subterfuge. They suck up to the people above them, and they terrorize the people below. They at least appear to produce. The people who should check up on them don’t do so because they are so charming and reassuring.
Antisocial are extroverted, but in another sense, they are loners. They have a hard time making any sort of commitment because they don’t really trust anybody. Antisocial are convinced that the only human motivation is self-interest. Antisocial are often damnably attractive and a hell of a lot of fun.
Antisocial are expert hypnotists. A Ferrari in a world of Toyota. Toyotas are safe and practical, but they’re not much fun. Ferraris are dangerously, powerful, fabulously expensive and in the shop more than they are on the road. Those who own Ferrari love them enough to pretend that they’re sensible.
At the core of the antisocial personality is a lust for stimulation of all sorts. Antisocial are not held back by doubt and worry. They act as if they were bullet proof, embracing risks and challenges. They often pick fights just to liven things up.
When antisocial are bored, they want to feel better right away. They seldom reflect on why they do things they do. They seldom find faults with themselves but they are quick to find it in others. They can be openly aggressive.
Most antisocial decisions are simply a roll of the dice. Life to them is a series of inevitable reactions to whatever is happening at the moment. Antisocial vampires are actually lovable. They make their emotional living by using other people.
Antisocial are less sensitive to the effects of punishment. Antisocial are better than most of the rest of us at picking themselves up, dusting off and staring over. Being likable and having so many qualities what are highly valued in organizations often blinds people to antisocial faults.
To be continued…
Coming next: antisocial bullies…