2 EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK: Types of Emotional Vampires

Short Notes From:

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES AT WORK

Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Brain You Dry

Albert J. Bernstein, PhD.

McGraw Hill Education

258 pages

Types of Emotional Vampires

Types	Observations
Antisocial	Addicted to excitement Loves parties Want good time, a little action, lots of money and immediate gratification of their desire The sexiest, the most exciting and the most fun to be around People take to them easily and quickly Provide moments of fun but they don’t have much to give back Their dilemma: they’re Ferraris in a world of Toyotas, built for speed and thrills apt to be very disappointed if we expect them to be reliable or to tell the truth offer an alternative reality tailored to what we want to believe natural hypnotists when communicating, everything they say is directed toward achieving an effect in the person who is listening sees the people in their lives as a source of sustenance, but not having much of an existence beyond that very good of discerning what feeds other peoples egos skillful at picking up on hidden desires Book cookers and con artists who lie for fun and profit, bullying bosses who love to see people cringe
Histrionics	Live for attention and approval Looking good is their specialty Have what it takes to get hired Dramatic; what we see is all a show, and definitely not what you get Experts at hiding their own self-serving intentions even from themselves Believe that they are wonderful people never do anything unacceptable, like making mistakes or having bad thought about anyone Avoid conflict but excel at creating discord by ignoring problems Attempt to manage by magic, believing that what they don’t pay attention to will just go away Prefer to focus on what they consider to be big picture concepts Motivation is their all-time favorite Believe that motivation has nothing to do with external contingencies, it comes from the heart Motivation is the magic that creates win-win situations for everyone all the time Most likely present in mid-level management Their infections optimism can even get them promoted Manage to gain a great deal of control over the day-to-day operation Promoted because they look like what every manager hopes to see and say what every manager wants to hear 2 distinct forms Dramatic types who give the motivational talks Passive aggressive who deal with conflict by pretending that it doesn’t exist Never get angry, but somehow people always seem to get angry at them Hate dealing with boring details Always have good reason why they cannot follow the same rules as everyone else Hunger for attention and approval
Narcissists	Want to live out their grandiose fantasies of being the smartest, most talented and all around best other people in the world Think of themselves as better than other people Seldom do anything that isn’t self-serving They need to win
Obsessive Compulsives	Addicted to safety which they believe can be achieved through scrupulous attention to detail and complete control over anything Watch us to see that we don’t go too far astray We may not always like them but we need them Take no joy in hurting others Will hurt you and your feelings but they do feel compelled to state their opinion Delay making decision Delay in giving praise Indulge in vices that masquerade as virtues Micromanaging control freaks To get them to lay off is to see their fear rather than your hurt and irritation
Paranoid	Offer clarity in an ambiguous world Actually do fire people or drive them to quit Live by concrete rules Sometimes they are right Is the essence of charisma

To be continued……

Coming up next: protecting yourself