The Five Languages of Love

SHARED FROM:

StarMetro, Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Sight & Sounds by Xandra Ooi

UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGES OF LOVE

There is a difference in feeling that someone is special

And making the person feel special

 

Most of us today share the common privilege of having had a higher education.  But when it comes to dealing with the complexities of life, we cannot assume that we have the same set of skills.  When it comes to personal life, it’s a no-brainer.  We know what makes us happy, what makes us unhappy and we often operate by instinct.

Our gut feelings are largely influenced by what we have experienced growing up.  Likewise, when it comes to love, we usually express it best in the way we’ve always experienced it, or would like to experience it.  In other words, in a romantic relationship, many of us instinctively give what we are use to getting or hope to get.

When it comes to love, we assume that what we give is what the other person would like to receive, because we like to receive the same thing.  Most of the time, what we give with love is appreciated.  What is more important is to take note that whilst out partner may fully appreciated the effort we rake to show our love, it may not be exactly what they need to feel loved or special.

 

According to Dr Gary Chapman the author of The Five Love Languages, it helps to know which love language our partner speaks the best; Word Of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts Of Service, And Physical Touch.  Although all the five ways of expressing love are important, Chapman explains that we each tend to respond to one more than the others,

We feel most loved when the other person is expressing their love in the way hat is most important to us.  Just because you feel someone is special, doesn’t mean the person feels special.  It can be a whole lot of work, effort and empathy in deciphering and understanding someone else.