DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - The 10 Most Difficult Poeple

SHORT NOTES FROM:

DEALING WITH PEOLE YOU CAN’T STAND

HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST

DR. RICK BRINKMAN AND DR. RICK KIRSCHNER

MCGRAW-HILL, INC

(226 PAGES)

PART 1

GETTING TO KNOW THE PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND.

Everybody is somebody’s difficult person, at least some of the time.  What constitutes difficult person may include:

·         Overly or non-emotional person

·         People who whine and are negative

·         Aggressive people

·         Passive people

·         Braggarts and blowhards

 

The 10 Most Unwanted List

There are actually 10 specific behavior patterns identified what people do that others find difficult:

1.    The Tank

-           Confrontational, pointed, and angry, the ultimate in pushy and aggressive behavior

2.    The Sniper

-           Rude comments, biting sarcasm, or a well-timed roll of the eyes, making you look foolish

3.    The Grenade

-           After a brief period of calm, explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances

4.    The Know-it-all

-           Seldom in doubt, has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction.  If something goes wrong, they will speak with the same authority about who’s to blame

5.    The Think-They-Know-It-All

-           Can’t fool people all of the time, but they can fool some of the people enough of the time, and enough of the people all of the time – all for the sake of getting some attention

6.    The Yes Person

-           Effort to please people and avoid confrontation, say ‘yes’ without thinking things through, react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and over-commit until they have no time for themselves, then they become resentful

7.    The Maybe Person

-           Procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will present itself

8.    The Nothing Person

-           No verbal feedback, no nonverbal feedback, nothing

9.    The No Person

-           More deadly to morale than a speeding bullet, more powerful than hope, able to defeat big ideas with a single syllable

-          A mild mannered normal person, fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness, and despair

10. The Whiner

-           Feel helpless and over whelmed by an unfair world

-          Their standard is perfection, and no one and nothing measures up to it

-          But misery loves company, so they bring their problems to you

The four (4) actions to choose when dealing with difficult people:

            1.         Stay and do nothing

            2.         Vote with your feet (walk away)

            3.         Change your attitude about your difficult person

                        -  Learn to be listen and feel differently

            4.         Change your behavior

You’re nobody’s victim without your permission

-Eleanor Roosevelt