YOU AND TOUR TEENS

SHARED FROM:

The Star 2 Wednesday 31 July 2013

Teens and Tweens By Charis Patrick

Communicate not alienate

 

            When your children are younger, they insisted on telling you about everything they’ve done, usually several times over, and very loudly too.  But as they enter teenage years, they often sever the lines of communications!

            Most of the battles that we fight with our teens and tweens are actually the result of bad communication.  They are slowly becoming more independent.  They began to rely more on other people and less on us for all their needs.  We may have been their closest and most trusted adviser and consultant over the years, and they do still need our wisdom and guidance but they also need their own space.

            Becoming a teenager is a difficult stage in life.  Even the happiest and most well-adjusted childhood can’t totally prepare them for.  Once the lines of communication start breaking down, it becomes harder to know what’s going on in your teenage child’s; life.  Because they stop telling you.

 

            Don’t jump to conclusion.  Don’t mistake their reluctance to communicate for outright rebellion.  Don’t try to over compensate.  They’ll misinterpret the healthy interest as smothering.  Back off a bit.  Give them the space they need.  Try to keep things in perspective.  The world is full of wise, mature, honest, generous, wonderful people who just happen to be untidy.

You and your teen come from two different worlds,

two different perspectives

and a giant disconnect

that can make communication a real mystery

-Debbie Pinces-

5 Secrets for Communicating With Teenagers

            Distance and explosiveness are often the only ways a teenager knows how to communicate when things get intense.  This of course will cause more conflict.

            Family life has a way of catching us off-guard.  The intensity may get under our skin, that’s making us loose our cool over all the wrong things.  Minor incidents may become full-scale dramas.  It’s vital not to get drawn into endless minor conflicts that don’t really make any difference in the long run.

 

            Authority as parents is based entirely on the strength of our relationship with your teens or tweens.  So the more your teens learn to tune you out, the harder you’ll find to get thoughts them about anything important.  Only draw a line in the sand when you are absolutely sure it has to be there.  Otherwise your teen will be tempted to shut you out altogether, and they’ll also be deprived of your help, support, love and advice that matter when they desperately need it.