TIPS AND IMPORTANT NOTES ON DIFFIC

 TIPS FOR WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

1.	Respond thoughtfully	Try not to react impulsively when dealing with difficult person.  Think before you respond.
2.	Mending relationship	Analyze what you might be doing to contribute to that behavior, and how you might change it.
3.	Resist asserting your demands	Resist the urge to counter-demand when being confronted.  Instead ask questions that will help you understand the other side’s needs better.
4.	Respect other cultures	If you accidently cause offence in other culture, point put politely that it not intentionally, but due to lack of familiarity of their culture.
5.	Listen then share your thoughts	People will more like listen to you when they feel you have paid attention to them.
6.	Offer ideas	Always offer your ideas, never impose them.
7.	Always use the AFIR model	AFIR (Action, Feeling, Impact, and Request) model is use to reframe blame even if the other party is really at fault.  You will get a lot further in engaging them in problem-solving because they will not feel the need to defend themselves.
8.	Understand interests and concerns	The more you learn about people, the better equipped you will be to create specific solutions that address their concerns.
9.	Monitor your own emotions	The awareness will help you to better control your emotions.
10.	Avoid capitals	Resist the temptation to use capital letters in e-mails.  They are equivalent to shouting.
11.	Being pre-emptive	Anytime a misunderstanding seems to be developing via e-mail, pick up the phone and call the other person.
12.	Helping the other person	Sometimes the other person may not have a clear sense of what their true needs are.  Gently question them to draw out what is really important to them.
13.	Put the other person’s needs first	Uncover the other person’s true needs before you share yours with them.  They will be much more receptive once they feel understood.
14.	Resist acting immediately	Take some time to consider whether the other person’s action were intentional, then carefully decide the course of action.
15.	Challenging behavior	Manage others’ difficult behavior by challenging it towards a productive resolution.
16.	Recognize sincerely	Any contrived acknowledgement on your part will be transparent to employees and will not motivate.

IN FOCUS FOR WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

1.

Applying the 24-hour rule

The 24-hour rule means waiting 24 hours before sending an e-mail written in a moment of emotion.  High pressure at work can cause you to become stressed.  You could write a mail to calm your feelings, but wait a whole day to send it.  By then you will have calmed down and be able to write a more constructive e-mail.

IMPORTANT NOTES IN WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

1.	Root causes underlying difficult behavior	Indifference Loss of interest or motivation; Too much work or too routine work; Uncomfortable with co-workers; Lack of recognition for previous efforts. Anger Frustration; Feeling of being exploited or unfairly treated at work;; Not being respected; Needs not being met. Non-compliance Desire for more autonomy and say; Doesn’t trust, understand, or agree with management; Vague and unclear objectives, Asserting blame Insecure; Wants to appear strong; Concerned about others’ perception; Worried about carrier. Defensive Unjustly blamed; Threat from co-workers; Fear of tarnished image; Feeling attacked.
2.	Ways to manage others’ emotion	Acknowledging Listening Asking Leading Monitoring
3.	Causes and resolutions to impasse situations	Rigid positions on both sides Parties talking at one another Solutions put forward too early and rejected Options not sufficiently explored or exhausted

Short notes from:

THE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT

The Ten Essential Skills For Achieving High Performance

Darling Kindersley Limited (DKL), Penguin Group (UK)